This page contains dynamic content -- Highest Possible Classification is PRESIDENT'S EYES ONLY RETINAL VERIFICATION SYSTEM ACTIVATED: 1/15/2013 6:50:26 PM RETINAL SCAN IN PROGRESS .......................................................... p> p> p> p> p> p> p> p> p> p> p> p> The United States Online Command is fictitious and incapable of actually launching nuclear weapons. So go ahead and access the fake Nuclear Launch System above. You know you want to... No person, department, or agency of the U.S. Government approved, endorsed, or authorized this site. not The White House Click off now!
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Photos and Webcam
Tours and Events
The Obama Store
Worthy of Trust and Confidence
In the spirit of openness and transparency, you are invited to become a Secret Service Agent-for-a-week.
Overnight Guest Program Dine at the White House Weekend at Camp David
Guests will stay in either the Lincoln Bedroom or the Queen's bedroom and will have use of the library, bowling alley, movie theater, and swimming pool. The White House Mess is now open to the public once a month for breakfast and lunch. Prices include meal, beverage, souvenir menu and M&M's. Enjoy a weekend at the famous Presidential Retreat. Activities include hiking, bicycling, swimming, tennis, bowling, basketball, and skeet shooting.
LINKS TO OTHER IMPORTANT FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WEBSITES
As a courtesy to the large number of federal government visitors to this website, we offer these convenient links to other government sites:
U.S. Department of Justice: Gun Control Solution
Bureau of Engraving and Printing: Print Your Own Money
U.S. Department of State: Diplomacy Under the Obama Administration
Social Security Administration: The UnCOLA
National Security Agency: Domestic Surveillance Directorate
Raven Rock Mountain Complex: Site R Tour
FOR PRESIDENTIAL USE ONLY: OFFICIAL ACCESS TO ONLINE CYBER WEAPONS
The White House Cybersecurity Plan requires the President to have universal and convenient access to his personal suite of cyber weapons: Online Nuclear Launch Codes and Cyber Warfare Command.
The applications below are reserved for use by our Commander-in-Chief. Please respect this.
Our plans for the 2013 White House Easter Egg Roll are beginning to take shape
The construction equipment outside the White House may be gone now, but work continues underground on the White House Tunnel System expansion.
While President Obama regrets he was unable to attend APEC 2012 in Vladivostok, he looks forward to a warm sunny summit for APEC 2013 in Bali.
PHOTO OF THE WEEK
The many hours spent as a youth practicing a cool signature has finally paid off.
WHITE HOUSE WEB CAMS
Nope, this is not the official website of The White House. It's a parody of whitehouse.gov. No person, department, or agency of the U.S. Government approved, endorsed, or authorized this site. No animals were harmed while making this website (except maybe that one time when I was a little late feeding my dog his dinner).